What's it like?
by redrobinhood
Summary: "What do you want me to say?" He asked. She kept her gaze on her hands as she spoke. "The truth." Sasha asks Jason a question he's not sure he can answer.


It was 4am. They had just gotten home from patrol and were now sitting on the couch. Jason sat drinking a beer in a pair of dark, raggy, torn up sweatpants and a loose fitting green shirt. Sasha next to him in dark blue running shorts and a baggy purple sweatshirt, taking small sips of her Coca-Cola bottle, which was also glass because Jason claimed it tasted significantly better. She was inclined to agree.

Jason finished the rest of his beer in one swig then got up to throw it in the recycling bin. He came back a minute or so later, running a hand through his unkempt red hair.

"Right, time for bed. Good work tonight, that last drug bust was hard but you did good and didn't- are you okay?" He stopped mid-sentence as he noticed the look on her face as she swirled the last bit of her coke around in the bottle.

"What's- what's it like? To die?" She asked hesitantly, her voice quavering.

Jason paused. He took a deep breath before sitting next to her and putting his arm around her shoulders. "What do you want me to say?" He asked.

She kept her gaze on her hands as she spoke. "The truth." She turned and looked him right in the eye. "I keep thinking about my father, and- and tonight, for a moment, I thought he was going to shoot me." She looked away again. Jason was reminded of the bruise on his shoulder from where the bullet had hit when he had tackled the intended target. "And I just want to know what happens. I don't know if you, or any of your family have died, or almost died and I was just wondering, what does it feel like?"

Jason sighed, the memories that sleep brought back almost every night coming to the front of his thoughts. The explosion, flames and chunks of concrete falling in a display of colors that began to spiral and contort as warmth rose in his throat. Then there was the feeling of panic, the smell of fresh soil, then bright yellow headlights and a swerving sound. There was a mumble of noise, he tried to call out for Batman, for Bruce to help him. He remembered a voice asking him what sounded like questions before darkness took over. There was a room, a cell, he needed to get out. He felt rain pattering on his back and dripping down his face as he sat by the road. Then there was a kick to the stomach, a flash of green, he was fighting someone. They fell to the ground as the green flashed in the corner of his vision. Then the green began to contort and take over until his vision was a myriad of greens swirling around. And he was drowning. His feet found the bottom and he came up gasping for breath to see the face of Talia al Ghul as she held out her hand.

"Jason?" Sasha asked softly as she saw the look on his face. "Are you okay?"

He turned to look over at her again. "I'm fine, I'm fine." He took a deep breath. "From what I've heard, it's mostly painless." She looked cynically at him.

"And from what you haven't heard?" She inquired.

He took a deep breath. "Dying, death itself is easy, it's what leads up to it that hurts. Death itself, it's just like falling asleep."

She looked at him for a long time. Blinking occasionally as she thought over what he said. "But what about before that?"

"Well aren't we all dying now? Right now? How do you think it feels?"

"It hurts." She said solemnly.

"But some moments, some moments are numb. And I personally think that's okay. Being numb is okay."

"But lonely."

He looked down at his lap. "But lonely. Yes."

"Something happened to you didn't it?" He looked back at her, her blue eyes pleading him to answer her with the full truth and nothing but the truth.

Instead he stood up and held out a hand. "Let's go to bed."

* * *

Jason's words repeated in her head as she fell to the ground a week later, her hands clenched around her stomach. Arms caught her before her torso hit the ground and lifted her up.

She woke up later in the hospital with Jason sitting next to her.

"Will I be okay?" She asked. He placed his hand on her arm and smiled.

"You've already done the hard part."

* * *

 **A/N: Short one shot based off an idea I had last night of what death and resurrection looked/felt like for Jason. So I had to make a short story to go with it.**


End file.
